Monday, January 25, 2010

OUR EVERYDAY THINGS

It has been more than 3 hours and we are still waiting. Being here, seeing patients get rolled in to the operating theaters, some accompanied by family members, some have none. Once they are inside, their lives lie in the hands of these surgeons. Isn't life so fragile? One moment we can all be well and the next who knows what might happen. All of us should really treasure what we have but its human nature to take things for granted and to not be contented with our present situation. And when we come to the point of realization, isn't it abit too late already? Every 5-10 mins, the doors of the operating theatre will open and family members scurry to look at whether the patient being rolled out is their loved one. Most at the waiting area wear a worried look on their faces as we all continue to wait. It's ironic how we can take charge over our lives when it comes to certain things yet be so vulnerable when it comes to situations as such. We see people displaying their weakest forms at times like this. 

Last enquiry response at 10.55am: Operation still in progress. 
I have faith that everything will be ok. 

Saturday, January 23, 2010

DRUNK DADDY

1.10am: 

Dad: *Comes home staggering* 
            "Hi Girl, I am drunk! "

Me: *Gives him the shocked look*
          "Huh? How come you get drunk so easily?"

Dad: "Cause the red wine was damn strong, I drank 2 bottles and  had to ask my friend to stop the car to puke and I puked alot"

Me: *Didn't know what to say* 
          "Errrr ok then how are you feeling now?"
           (Can you imagine your father telling you he's drunk and he puked, how to answer sia? )

Dad: *Staggers to the kitchen toilet and then there was silence... for only a moment*

1.15am:

*Sounds of puking and flushing of toilet* Continued all the way like non-stop action till....

1.45am:

*Absolute silence* 

1.50am:

Dad: *Still in toilet* 
           "Girl, can you pass me fisherman?" (Fisherman's friend)

Me: *Picks up the fisherman from the dining table and walked over to the kitchen toilet.* 
         *Gasp in horror when I saw my father lying on the toilet floor next to the toilet bowl.*
         "OMG why you so chialat sia!" 

Dad: "I don't know. How do you handle your drunk moments ah?"

Me: *STUNNED!*
         "Erm, I don't know. I have never been so drunk in your state before."
         (Did not know what to do or say so I walked away first, plus still puking I think)

2.00am:

*Absolute silence*

2.10am:

I decided to go check on him and lo and behold, he was sleeping in the toilet on the floor la.

Me: "Dad, can you wake up and go wash up. Don't sleep in the toilet."

Dad: *Spoke gibberish* & continued lying in the toilet

Completely knocked out la! OMG. How??? I don't know what to do. Let him sleep in the toilet or carry him into the room. My mom will flip I swear. In my whole 20 years, I have NEVER EVER seen my father drunk before. It was always ME, but never in such a bad state as him la. I still knew how to shower and bathe and sleep on the bed. HOW HOW HOW??? This is so warped, like I am the parent now and he's the drunk teenager who's gonna nurse a really bad hangover tmr. Plus I am working on my assignments till now on a Friday night and he goes out to have fun! LOL. Role reversal. How interesting. Not to be mean or anything but you will really understand when you see ur parent drunk in the same state as my dad is right now. 

He is still sleeping in the toilet. 
And I do not know what to do still. :s


      

Friday, January 22, 2010

STOP TELLING ME LIES

Zouk 












SMU Bondue Fright Night









SMU Bondue Camp













Had a long day at school and because of my overflowing and never ending school work & assignments, I am home on a Friday night. But its ok, I don't feel sorry for myself that I am not out there having fun because right now, there are so many things on my mind. Firstly, with every passing day, I hate school even more that I keep thinking of quitting school. But I know I can't do so because where can I go and what can I do after that? Its wearing me out, draining all the energy within me. Then there are so many things that I am trying to juggle at the same time as well. So when all that's left to keep me going is xxxxx, I saw things that I wished I didn't see or didn't know. I know I shouldn't be doubtful right, that words are just words and they do not mean anything. Like they can just be a passing remark but those words hurt too. How do you learn to trust someone who says one thing but might mean another. Someone who means so much to you and you to that person so as you thought, to realize that it might not be so after all. That everything might just be a lie and soon enough you crumble and fall into pieces. I went through it once and I vowed never to wanna go through something like that again. As I begin to take 2 steps forward instead of none, I tripped and now I am running back to where I started from. I really wanna believe with all my heart that those words don't mean anything. But a leopard never changes it spots right, like how do they go from being a carnivore to a herbivore??? It never happens and will never happen. Or maybe I should be the one who should stop deceiving myself. 

This is so exhausting; I wish I could have just one day to strip myself off all worries. Maybe a week will be better. Isn't it awesome if you could just lose your memory for awhile and not remember anything. Sigh. I still have so much of work to do so I guess I will be staying up late tonight and not forgetting I have school the whole day tomorrow. It's really tragic! I just hope to meet the best friends for dinner tmr night, I am even striking Zouk out from the list. Alright gtg MUG.  

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

SO NEAR YET SO FAR

It's only been 2 hours since you went away, and I can't wait for you to be back. 
I am slowly counting down the days...

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

IT NEVER DISAPPEARS


Missing you alrdy. 

Saturday, January 16, 2010

A WORLD APART



If there was a way to try and make it back
Back to where we started from
Could I find a way to try and make you stay?
Would I know what could be done?

I don't wanna deny my heart its chance to feel
I don't wanna deny my soul something real

Is there anything left in this world
That will satisfy me?
Is there anything left in this world
That will satisfy you tonight?

We were sailing on, I could see the world below
Never thought of coming down
Expectations fell, it seemed as though our will
Was no match for the trouble found

I don't wanna deny my heart its chance to feel
I don't wanna deny my soul something real

Is there anything left in this world
That will satisfy me?
Is there anything left in this world
That will satisfy you tonight?

So take my hand and I won't look back
Though I've lived tossed along these waves
I will stay  

Is there anything left in this world
That will satisfy me?
Is there anything left in this world
That will satisfy you tonight?

Friday, January 15, 2010

STARDUST

I closed my eyes and I prayed with all my heart for the best that can happen. It was never my calling; only He knows what is good for me. But I hope that He will be able to fulfill my heart's desire, I've never felt so strongly towards anything before. 

The past 2 weeks have been one hell of a roller coaster ride. In a way, I am glad that I managed to get through 2 major events tonight. The greatest blessing that I am thankful for is having the girls there beside me. For the words of encouragement, their advice, their presence and all the fun times we had, they are such a bundle of joy. I am at the verge of giving up everything that I have worked so hard for, it just seem so pointless to me. Sometimes it seems as though the more you try, the deeper you fall. After you have reached a certain point, the exhaustion becomes too overwhelming, draining out all that's left of you, and you wanna put an end to the struggles. Its times like this that I wish I could start anew. Life is never a bed of roses, but I believe that we all have a right to fight for our happiness. 

Monday, January 11, 2010

IDIOSYNCRASIES

How can you want something so much yet be so afraid of it at the same time?

Thursday, January 7, 2010

ALL SMILES

The little cute card all the way from the other side of the world really made my day. What a nice surprise from D who always puts a smile on my face when somehow I needed it even though he is oblivious to my happenings. Starbucks at Sig. with the boys while I tried to complete my Morning Alert but of course distractions! Gossips and what more, how to concentrate. When the clock struck 12, I scooted off to meet my favorite friend who got me all excited on our little plan under the stars if it materializes of course. Even if it's a little dream that could sweep you off your feet for that very moment, why not indulge in it? For all you guys who brightened me up for the day because I was PMS-ing, it was much appreciated. And final thing that lets me go to bed with a smile is that The Stella Story agreed to perform for us F.O.C at our Back To School Party next week thanks to TJW and Co. *Yawnz* I am really tired and I have a 8.30 class later, so good night :)

Sunday, January 3, 2010

WALKING DISASTER

Butter - Sab's bdae









































Sab's Bdae Dinner 








Hola 2010! Its been quite a good and bad new year. Bad cause I am feeling so sick all the time. grrrr. Left butter super early last night cause my tummy was flippin and Ja Rule was in the house yo. In case you didn know like me Ja Rule is that nigga rapper but didn get to see him cause 

1. It was super packed 
2. It was dark already
3. There were a couple of niggas

Anyway I think I am getting old and weak for the partying scene. Putting a restraint on myself and if I can't do so, someone will put a leash on me. Sidetracking I really loathe freeloaders especially when they are guys! For goodness sake, where is your dignity man. Buay Paiseh one sia some people still can bloody sit at the VIP table with us when there are not enough seats already and the poor boys who opened bottles have to stand around and those bloody bastards even finished their bottle. Lagi best still can talk so loud saying got no money la, broke la blah blah. No money still can club sia, not bad! Speechless. So school officially starts on Tuesday for me since I have no school on Mondays. Dread, dreading, dreaded, gonna dread school! Seriously I so wanna quit school, so weird. In the past, studying used to be one of my main motivation and now it just simply vanished into thin air. I just feel that life is so short and you should pursue what you really want not what you think you want. I really want to go on a holiday, somewhere cold with snow. Korea last year was so awesome but how to go, I've got school :( J's yacht party tonight, not gonna drink anymore. Have a good week ahead.