ESPRESSO NICOTINE & COMFORT FOOD

Time Check:4am and my groupmates have all ditched me for their beauty sleep. Well boys will always be boys. So here I am struggling with my report thinking of marketing strategies and promotional tools while people around me are either eating, sleeping or playing cards. The three shots of espresso has performed its duties well enough for me to be kept wide awake at such an untimely hour. Oh damn it! Everything was working out perfectly fine until I hit a mental block and stumbled. Now my brain is jammed, all stuffed up with too much caffeine. Uh no I am not leaving this place without completing my work even if I live to see the sunrise. Okay the guy in front of me who is fast asleep is breathing so weirdly that he is making funny beeping noises with his nostrils. Very funny but very annoying too. Luggages, duffels, passports, boarding tickets!!! How unfair, once school's over I am outta here. Desperately needing to get a life again, I have none now. Friday was spent in school till 12 midnight doing project starting from 10am in the morning. Until now at freaking 4am on a Saturday morning I am still doing project ALONE! Really i feel so damn loserish.

Oh this is the joy of the rose.
That it blows, and goes.

THE PAST THREE YEARS WERE JUST PRETENCE

The intense mental, physical & emotional exhaustion has reached its peak and it's way too unbearable to handle. Being indecisive all the time, I am never good with choices but life never fails to shower us with such lovely presents. If a situation presents itself with two choices, I tend to want both despite the dire consequences which may follow suit or rather we have to accept the fact that we can't have the best of both worlds. The fear of deciding kicks in because each decision made will be accompanied by a certain degree of undesired emotions. And when faced with an unpleasant occurance along the path chosen, you stop you pause and you think "What if I have taken the other path? Maybe things would have been different altogether." The grass might not be greener on the other side of the pasture, that's how the story goes. I need to choose and I need to decide, because if i don't, I will never be able to free myself of this bondage.

I gave my best to you but the best aint enough. So while you go seeking for your lost soul, building up that paradise of yours, I feel so distant, neglected and soon to be forgotten. So I ask myself why do I commit such acts of foolishness over and over again only to end up where I first started. And there can only be one answer, the answer being...

GIVING UP ON HALF EMPTY GLASSES

F: "We go catch elephants one day. Haha.Catch catch. I want to catch lions and tigers. Bite you away"
S: "No we go find Peterpan ok and Neverland."
F: "You are my tinkle bell. I'm your Peterpan. I don't like captain hook. He catch me. I don't like. You can escape Tinklebell! You try your best! I love rock and roll. Roll roll roll your boat. Gently down the lane."

The effects of alcohol! Too much of it actually. Releasing happy vibes and hormones and all those pent up stress and frustration over the past week. We are just breakable girls and boys. Camping at the airport in the wee hours of the morning and cramping all that law notes into our heads. Sleeping at 1am and giving each other wake up calls at freaking 3am only to hear whining and screaming and um according to someone moaning? haha. Someone has been extremely understanding lately despite me throwing tantrums and bitchy moodswings and I really appreciate it alot. That aside, Daddy bought me a new toy which I love so very much. Gotta go roll around in the park now :)

STRANGE & BEAUTIFUL

I woke up today with a very puzzled question stuck in my head. Why do doughnuts have a hole in the middle? (Apart from the improvised versions of doughnuts which do not have holes but rather fillings in them which shouldn't even be called doughnuts anymore)

So it's been one hell of a hectic week, and more of such weeks to come. School's a bitch, a big fat one in fact. Everyday passes me by with a list of studying and projects to be completed. Sigh. Then there's uni applications to ponder about. Overseas or Local? I very much would love to head down to America but then there's the gap year and other issues to consider. But if I choose to stay, it would be my greatest regret. All the whatiff-ingsssss, screwing up the mind, making things harder than it seems. It's the weekends again, and my books will be my companion to stay. At this instance, my life kinda sucks. Retail Therapy has even lost all its appeal, how did it even end up like this.

The Creek Drank The Cradle.