Ben's Halloween Bdae Party
Halloween @ Copthorne Hotel & Zouk
Got a million more albums that I have not yet uploaded dating back 6 months ago till now. These photos are considered to be ancient lol. Ever since the start of this year, my body has been failing me. Falling sick, getting infections and whatnots. I kinda attributed it to the foul weather and the rising stress level and the lack of sleep. No strike that off, I am just getting OLD. Reality check, I have passed the "teen" phase, you know the eight-teen, nine-teen, yeah and boom! Now I am at the "ty" page. Gonna be stuck here forever unless I hit a 100. But no way I don't wanna live till a hundred. With all that on hand, I really have not been doing much or can't be doing much when I am practically swaying most of the time. Not doing me any good when I have project meetings every day & night. Yes night! And I can't make it I think they all hate me, think I am a lazy ass and a good-for-nothing useless bum. I still have a presentation on eve of CNY, tragic huh. But then again, I am quitting school, so why am I bothering myself with all these and getting stressed up over it when I have my applications to be stress with. Its all about prioritizing and right now I think settling my applications should come first.
And people ask me why am I giving up a SMU degree for something else that might not be as good or even doesn't guarantee that I can go to a good Uni after unless I really work my ass off. They say I should stick through with it and persevere for another 3 and a half more years. I know I might seem like a quitter, that I want the easy way out, that I cannot cope with the stress and the amount of work load but I guess this is my decision to make. It doesn't matter what people think or say or how uncertain my choice will affect my future because I know this is what I want. Yes, I am taking a huge risk, but how will I be able to take the leap and reach for the stars if I don't try. Yes I am very very afraid to fall but if I do I will pick myself up and do it all over again. I think the scariest thing in life is losing motivation and the path of direction you are gonna take to attain your goals. Staying on makes me feel this way, that somehow I am going on the wrong path. That with each passing day, I am losing my sense of direction and purpose. And ultimately, I feel that I am losing myself; the driven and determined person who never gives up is slowly fading away. I do not know where she is anymore and that scares the hell outta me. This time, I am gonna follow my heart and make my choice. No matter how stupid or foolish it seems, I don't care anymore. At least I am brave enough to go after what I want and that at any point in time I might just fall hard. But I am not afraid; we should never let fear put us down or be an obstacle to what we aim to achieve. No one said it would be easy but no one said we wouldn't succeed if we never did try.
