Monday, August 2, 2010


"Every girl needs a man;
the kind that will treat you, as well as others, right;
the kind that has enough respect for himself, family, and others;
the kind that will change for you to just be with you.

The kind that searches for you with his heart,
the kind that can be trusted alone in a room full of many other beautiful ladies,
the kind that won’t cheat on you cause he knows he’s got all he wants and needs,
the kind that’s willing to be your friend and lover,
the kind that doesn’t mind calling early in the morning to say good morning and late at night to say good night;
maybe even sing you a good morning and tell you a good night story or talk to you until you fall asleep.

The kind that will do anything for you, even if it’s just to buy your favorite kind of candy.
The kind that will defend and fight for you,
the kind that won’t ditch you for his friends when you need him the most,
the kind that won’t leave you lonely and wondering.

The kind that isn’t afraid to smile to his friends every time you’re around and tell them, “She’s the one.”
The kind that appreciates you for the things to do for him, even if they’re small gestures.
The kind that actually thanks you for the little love notes you leave him,
the kind that is willing to wait for you when you’re falling behind,
the kind that will actually open the door for you, take you out on dates once in a while and buy you flowers cause it’s a Wednesday.

The kind that notices your hair when you just got it cut or done beautifully for him,
the kind that reminds you that he loves you and that he’s happy with you in case you forget.
The kind that kisses your forehead when you’re down,
the kind that tells you to be strong and not to cry,
the kind that will go through thick and thin with, and for you,
the kind that just loves you for who you are.

That kind of man, that’s the kind you keep."

Its such a blessing to have already found HIM. 

Saturday, July 24, 2010


With all that I am doing, I am just digging my own grave. Emotions emotions, why are you so fucking hard to handle. It's like playing with fire; dangerous yet exciting. Soon enough, you get too caught up in your own web that you spun, there's no getting out of it. Slowly, you feel yourself fighting for breath, suffocating, sinking deeper and deeper into something that you created for yourself. 

Friday, July 23, 2010


You know you are an alcoholic when you constantly need booze to take the pain away and bring you to another "world"

Saturday, July 17, 2010


And I wish this feeling would disappear and go away. It follows you everywhere you go. In your dreams, when you wake, before you go to bed, it just has to mark its presence in your footsteps. When will this ever end? When are you going to put a halt to everything? Because it haunts you, you know that THIS is real. Problem is, you are just too damn scared to deal with it.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010


I lie awake every night thinking... is what I am doing right, considered appropriate? The answer is simply obvious because it is a straight NO. But I choose to believe that there ain't no right or wrong anymore; we are all threading on grey areas. Those awful lies and deceitful words, spun into sweet nothings, how will you ever find out? You will never know. Everyone has secrets, everyone has a hideous past, no one is perfect. Sad truth is, everyone's wearing a mask(s), to protect themselves ultimately. Love is just a silly game, played by fools all the same.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010


Whisper a prayer, make a wish under a starry starry night.
Close your eyes and inhale summer's sweet scent. 
Summer; how the sun shines so brightly up in the blue skies, 
bringing warmth and joy to earth's inhabitants. 
Yet, Summer, the lust of all seasons. 
Bringing forth burning passions and entanglement of endless nothings. 
When Summer ends, so does the secret love affairs and midnight rendezvous. 
Summer flings, oh Summer flings. 
You come and go as easily as the wind. 
What a pity, what a shame. 
For you certainly live up to your name. 

Friday, July 9, 2010


But darling, you are the only exception. 

Sunday, June 27, 2010


"You're like Snow White, poisoned by stupid boys and I'll save you from them. You're like Cinderella, and I got you heels. You're like Aurora, and I'll kiss you so you'll wake up. You're like Ariel, I'll take you to play with sea creatures. You're like Belle, being with me the beast (later he turns into a prince). You're like Jasmine, I'll take you on a magical ride, and you're like Pocahontas, and I'll run with you in the wind. You're like Mulan, brave, and you're like Tiana; you kissed me the frog and I became your prince. Hope this puts a smile on your face. We'll watch all of them one night. Good night my princess." - I

Awww... very cheesy but very sweet. 

Sunday, June 20, 2010


Things happen when you least expect them to. It catches you by surprise, and throws you off guard. There is no comprehending of the reasons why, even if you replay the questions in your head a million times. Feelings, what an inexplicable existence, causing happiness and sadness to be so perfectly intertwined. Both comes into play, and one cannot function without the other. For without happiness, how can there be sadness? Without hurting, how can one experience true bliss. Things don't always work out the way they are supposed to or as so you thought it would. If its meant to be, its meant to be, no matter what happens. Everything will just fall into place at the right time, the right moment. But even if it doesn't, just remember you will always have my heart. 

Wednesday, June 16, 2010


Yacht Party 2010 @ One Degree Fifteen - What a great way to kick start the New Year

Sai jumping off the boat in his *ahem* underwear
He really did jump! LOL

20 Bottles of Hard Liquor! Hardcore or not

The Bartenders who were responsible for 95% of those aboard the yacht who got sloshed. 

Drunk pose #1
Drunk pose #2
Drunk pose #3

Since I returned from the UK a few days ago, I haven't been or felt myself at all. Obviously I tried pushing the blame to the jet lag, and the difference in time zones that I have to adjust back to, but I know that these are all just excuses for me to pinpoint the problem. My mind has been in a whirlwind ever since, and I can't seem to eat or sleep or do anything properly. Sometimes, my heart skips a beat and I find myself trying to catch my breath. Other days, it just sinks into this bottomless pit that I can't resist falling into. I catch myself smiling like an idiot at days, yet frowning deep in thought as my fear starts to roll in and devour me. Its all a fucking game. Period. We all have to learn how to play our cards right, read someone else's mind, to gain the upper hand. Scary huh? But you see, everyone wants to win, no one wants to be the loser. So are you able to throw aside all your emotions to get to that point? How far would you go to stay guarded? That's something that I would have to decide.

Thursday, June 10, 2010


To live is to prepare for goodbye. 
For loneliness is a friend, who will not betray.
Shiver not in the pouring love, instead, buy an umbrella;
Believe not in happiness, even in the passions of love.
Confess not your love, even if you would die for it.
For love is like a season, it comes and goes to decorate life's boredom;
The moment you call it love, it melts away, an ice sculpture. 
Goodbye, Someday.
Happiness lasts not forever, as despair lasts not forever.
Some days, there is goodbye; some days there is hello.
At death, some look back on being loved; while some look back on having loved.
I shall look back on having loved

Sayonara Itsuka

Friday, June 4, 2010


Ian makes such a cute cowboy.
Hovering between a "mangkali" and terrorist.

Samuel Tan is a cat without whiskers. Actually he was just being vain (as always) and was wearing the mask that can remove black heads. Seriously, he is the only guy I know who wears a facial mask every single day. Talk about being metrosexual or SNAG or whatever.

Bath is so boringgggg. This officially confirms that I am a city person; I will not survive a week in the countryside or in a small town. Because the boredom almost drove me to my grave, I was so relieved and happy to have their company on MSN. Thank God for technology, and skype and msn. Really made my whole morning till noon time bearable, after which I decided to take a short run and walk to the city centre. Okay there's nothing much here actually; almost everything shuts down at 6pm except for the supermarkets, bars and some restaurants.
So when people asked me online what am I doing, I said I am in Bath. And the typical answer I get from them is "huh? And you can use the laptop and msn when u are in bath?" Bath = bathe= shower. I think you get the picture. LOL. At least five have asked me the same thing, not knowing that Bath is actually part of the United Kingdom. Its ok, I myself didn't know that Bath existed before I decided to visit this place. It's just really funny. Alright am gonna crash now, so damn tired from... doing nothing.

Thursday, June 3, 2010


I don't get it, honestly, I don't. How can the heart sway and falter so easily? Or is it simply because everyone is deluding themselves all the time, trying to make the best out of their current partners to fill the void in their lives and avoid lonely spells that kills. When you are with her, you are thinking about another girl, but you tell her you love her and that she is all you want and need. When you are with him, are you constantly asking yourself is he the one, or you are just settling for the sake of it. Love, fairytales and happily-afters do not exist in my world; I just don't believe in them. We can never be truly sastisifed or contented, and more often than not, we decide on something because we cannot get better. Or we might get what we want, to want something even better after that. Everything is a joke at the end of the day. They say if you love someone, you have to be compromising, accomodating and understanding. That is why love isn't enough, because when it vanishes from the relationship, all the above elements disappear alongside it as well. What's left are just broken pieces to be picked up, and no matter how hard you try to piece them back together, it will never return to its original state. I know I sound cynical and skeptical about it, but face it darling, its the sad truth.

London was awesome. But right now I am in Bath and its so boring. The place is gorgeous, but I think I will cry everyday if I were to live here for long. Last night in London was dope. We went bar hopping and club hopping on a tuesday night! UK is about half a day behind. lol. We started off with really good cocktails first at this bar, but it closed at 11pm. So we scooted off to this club/bar called 49 or something. After a few more shots, cocktails and drinks, A. went to buy a bottle of Grey Goose. Brilliant! The 4 of us gulped down more than 3/4 of the bottle in less than an hour. At our peak already, 49 had to close at 2am. We then left for this club in Soho I think, was too high at that time already, and drank even more. OMG. But it was good fun with the new friends that V introduced. Partied till like 6am and then went for breakfast at Macs intoxicated! By the time I got back to the hotel, it was like 6.30am, slept til 11am and had to pack to go to Bath. Will be stuck here for one and a half days more. Gosh. Can't wait for friday, gonna head to Leicester to meet Alex! Till then, xoxo.

Sunday, May 30, 2010


PRE-NYE Celebration 

"Final" Party before School started!

A Black X'Mas affair with the girls

There's always two sides to a story, and as third parties, we will never know the whole truth. Besides, words and facts get twisted along the way somehow, that's how false rumors start spreading like wildfire. Precisely because people start adding certain details to spice up the whole story. Secrets can never really be kept as a secret. Why? Because A tells B not to tell, but B tells C and tells C not to divulge but C tells D and D tells E blah blah, and so its a vicious cycle. Soon enough, the whole world knows about it! I myself am guilty as charged, and I am sure everyone is as well to a certain extent. But I am trying not to do that anymore by keeping things to myself and only myself. So much has been happening lately to the people around me, and I realized how ordeals can either break friendships apart or make them stronger. Growing up is such a pain, what happened to "friends forever", giving of Chupa Chups, the whole "I don't friend you anymore" episodes only to befriend the friend again couple of minutes later. As life throws its shit at us, squabbles are not about the unwillingness to share toys or candies anymore. Money issues, relationships, backstabbing; all these come into play and its indeed scary. But its because of these that we also realize who our true friends are at the end of the day; who are the ones who really stick by us through thick and thin no matter what. 

I am jet-setting off in a couple of hours, and the path ahead of me is still a blur. I know I would have to come to a decision within the next few days, and it scares the shit outta me because of all the "what-ifs" and I am afraid of making the wrong decision. This time, I am trusting God for what He wants for me. 

Ok I wanna go to Mustafa now. LOL. See you in two weeks kiddos!